2009-06-07 13:46:54
No war on the Arun
HASTINGS (AAP) - Arundel is quiet once again. There was no fighting. All the threats of revolts have passed unfulfilled.
Spenser, a one time resident of Arundel, and his brother, Stevedaegg, both now of Coventry, had threatened, loudly and in many taverns, to remove the mayor and city council with his large following of willing revolters. In reality, it was a big "joke." It was "the only way to make them pay attention," Spenser said, referring to the well-experienced city council. He wants them to know "that they must be more respectful with people. Somebody must pay people attention to the big corruption that exists in this county." It is unclear what corruption he was referencing.
After he declared his intent to revolt, he was called an idiot, a troll, and something too crude to print. "Impolite and rude people we can meet everywhere," he shrugged. Mr Beef, a former County Councilor, responded, "we could treat people, who threaten and want to ruin our country, with open arms but it just seems a little...odd."
During this time he also announced he was looking for a bride. He believes that women were recruited to flirt with him, in order to seduce his plans. "Their behavior made me a bit angry, because it is not nice to play on somebody's feelings by flirting." He then used these women to pass false information.
Having made his political statement loudly, Spenser is now quietly touring. He offers this apology, "At the end I would like to say sorry if I offended somebody or did something wrong." The Public Prosecutor is continuing his investigation on whether to charge Spenser with Conspiracy to Revolt.
Emperor Hari Seldon of Trollbridge, while waiting for the barley harvest, responded with the following diplomatic language, "We don't use the name 'sussexian' to designate those that try to steal from our Sacred Pears; to the contrary, we value our friendship and we hold the name Sussex in great esteem. Therefore, our desire is that Sussex and its courageous, noble and free citizens refrain from using the name of Troll in vain."
Plotnik von Liechenstien for the AAP